Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A Terrible Two! In The Nicest Possible Way :)

Whilst I'm waiting for my camera to hurry it up uploading 444 files onto my PC, I thought it was about time I caught up with the world of blogging. Or I guess it's the case of the world catching up with me lol! In any case, those of you that have been keeping an eye on my last posts will know why there would have been a delay this weekend just gone. My little boy Yukio turned two years old, and I can honestly say if there's anything terrible about it, he's been doing it for a long while already! Lmao! Hopefully we've been getting the tantrums in early, so shortly we'll have an easy ride of this apparently temperamental milestone lol!!!

We had a lovely weekend. I wish I could say that my weeks of planning and overspending (by at least £60 I reckon) were worth it for his Tiger party, but the last thing any of us expected was to be let down at the last minute by a lot of invited guests. Despite the month advancement, despite messages all through last week, and even a last minute check on saturday before buying an extraordinary amount of food to keep everyone fed. I couldn't believe my eyes when the texts started coming in, and felt worse when I couldn't express how I felt over it (Lately I just don't feel like there's any point to me doing that anymore...It's frustrating how it's ok for everyone else to). I can only say one message made absolute sense to me, with her lil baby being unwell and I've already chatted with my friend about that, but everyone else has pretty much let me down for pretty pathetic and annoying reasons.

I've not slept for about 2 weeks through trying to fit planning around work (and this is with knowing who was coming... the lot was based on the headcount). 2am-ers all the way for such a long time including the night before cooking for the confirmed guests, coupled with the usual full time mum thang, a friend of mine passing away, the most busy schedule I've had to cope with alone (other half was working) since I was in the best and most active job of my life, multiple family members being extremely ill ranging from angina to cancer including one surgery that was yesterday (better check on my brother actually), and still I managed to make it all happen as I don't see the point in halting movement in life because of circumstances. I can't really do that because I have my son to think about and when you're a full time mum to an energetic toddler, the last thing you could do is let them down by letting life get you down. That doesn't make me a strong or more capable person, but I can't afford to let my emotions or fatigue take over when I have things to do. But considering so many people let me down at the last minute, loads of excess food is going off with the heatwave, loadsa party games i bought (including the coolest tiger pinata) didnt get played, I'm feeling pretty much like a mug for believing that people would think the same way I would do. Co-dependancy creeping back into my life probably, but on a practical level I really don't see how hard it is to get on with life when you flippin have to. And believe me I've been through enough and going through enough to know what it's like to suffer inwardly, yet I don't let it stop me. Otherwise I'd be letting people around me down by expecting them to pat me on the back and try and understand it all. I don't want people to understand my problems, it's not fair to expect that, it's the reason I don't bother going on about them anymore! You just get on with it don't you? Personally, regardless of how I may feel I do try and do what I can when I say I will. I haven't always been like that mind you, but nowadays I'm a little more thorough than I was before I had my son. I wouldn't say I push myself to the limit, but I do think that when things need to be done, they need to get done unless something awful occurs. Moan moan moan. Well it doesn't matter, regardless of how I feel Yukio still had his little girlfriend over and enjoyed his day mowing the lawn... all day... lol. It's a shame that the party games are all still in packages and the one's I prepared are sitting staring at me across the room, but I'm chuffed my dad's generous donation of a bouncy castle went down well with Yukio and his little friend.

The best part of the weekend though was taking him to meet Thomas The Tank Engine in Thomas Land yesterday at Drayton Manor Theme Park. Wow... I don't know what much else I can say about that! I managed to take what feels like a million pictures, and despite the stoney look on Yukio's face he had the best time ever I reckon. He LOVED it when he could see Thomas coming to pick us up to transfer our behinds to another part of the park. But everything about it was incredible. The staff were brilliant with the kids, waving at them and being all smiley (which is hard to come by in this country I swear), the rides were spot on in terms of entertainment for the family and being gentle enough for the little ones, and the Thomas Themed shop just has to be the biggest load of commercialised madness I've ever come across... whatever you can think of... with a Thomas theme... man I shoulda taken some pictures of that! Doh.

Anyways! That really cheered me up! I was close to tears a few times watching Yukio's little face throughout the day. He's going to be a little adrenaline junkie like his mummy ^_^ LOL!

So all in all... great coupla days. Like I say depite the let downs, I'm pleased one of my friends and her kids could make it and my friends without kids could do, as well as my mum and Elric's too. It was a lovely sunny day in the end, and the BBQ was great! At least we don't have to buy party stuff for next year with the overspend!

Right. Time to catch up with my Etsy Shop. Until next time x

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Not So Busy Bee...

I think it's fair to say that today has been too much of a blur for my liking. I really do think that the people invented time to cheese me off because it seems to pass by so quickly nowadays. I do think time is speeding up but that's a whole other blog!
Right now though I'm feeling a bit flustered at the lack of stuff I have managed to do today, having been given the opportunity via a baby free house!!! I guess my only consolation is that my mum has been telling me to have a few hours to myself to try and get over this cold, of which I had a few... Not by choice really. "Relax" she told me earlier. In my life that's a bit of a myth lol!!!
Well my form of relaxation came in the form of painting the walls... and I think I performed a splendid display of 'live action DIY mum'! But all came to a standstill when a particular gloss my other half insists needs to go on the frames, COULD NOT be found anywhere. Yet, it's matt twin has been driving me nuts at the corner of my eye all afternoon. I was VERY tempted to use that instead, but Elric wants it all to look shiny. So a velvety room is out of the question, no matter how tempting it is to lob it at the wall. The can is still sitting obnoxiously on the windowsill, probably cackling at me in a parallel universe. The frustration comes from time yet again by the way. There is slight appropriateness to my desperation.
Anyway, ignoring that color entirely! I managed to improve upon his painting with the main wall ;) and started the lower wall near to our sofa. I was pretty chuffed when I was done with that bit, which was why I was ready for color number 3 but... I despairingly gave up after the gloss hunt and twiddled my thumbs ever since. I'm not normally this over dramatic LOL! But I just want the house in order before the stampede of toddlers on sunday! Not to mention all the food I have to cook the day before, and the decorations I need to put up... *sigh* I hate it when I'm on a role and something distrupts it. Really throws me off, particularly when I'm not doing my daily mum thing! So currently I'm contemplating a late night of painting once the boys are back from visiting grandad (gonna make Elric find the gloss he so insists is sitting by the matt equivalent lol!), because I don't really think my brain can handle much else today lol!!!
Infact, away from my wonderfully productive day I have updated a few listings on etsy which I have neglected to share. I made a point of changing some listings to reflect other prices for prints in my store, as even though print sizes and prices are written into my profile, I have a hunch people probably don't look at it, and therefore only see the default size and price for all photography on there (8x12). So now there are some 5x7 listings (although remember they can be changed if you wish for something larger! Convo me on etsy for that). Anyway here are the new photographs I have listed. Each photo will take you directly to the listing which should allow you to view a larger photo too :) moonangelnay.etsy.com

Violet Star 5x7 $10

Sketchy 5x7 $13

Frog 5x7 $10

Iris Munch 5x7 $10

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A Sad Day For Many That I Know

It was partially a joy to wake up this morning to my little boy leaning over my head asking me if I would like porridge for breakfast (bless him), it was something else to realise that I am still unable to breathe out of either nostril because of the cold I brought home last week from one of Yukio's little friends! I have been trying alsorts of methods over the days to rid of it, besides yelling at it to go away. I'm not one to pop pills when I feel rubbish, because I hate the stuff and to be honest I feel they do more harm than good. But today I have caved from sheer laziness, and had an ibuprofen. Is it working??? no... I'm doomed for the remainder of the day then! I thought it would at least relieve some symptoms (whilst at the back of my mind I was secretly hoping for a miracle cure), but I feel no different so I guess this is the universes way of telling me to go to bed and chill out for once. Fat chance though!

Coming away from having man-flu, I had some tragic news today about an old school friend of mine whom I was in the same class with for about 7 years had passed away yesterday from cancer. It's been a bit of a devestating blow really, as despite the wonderousness of global connection via social networking, I had failed to make more of an effort to catch up with her. I didn't know she was suffering from cancer, but at 24 I never would have expected anyone I know to. But I do feel bad. My childhood involved her presence, and moving to secondary school despite us all being put into new classes and losing a decade of growing up with her I still feel extremely down at the news. Particularly as she was an added "friend" on facebook, you know there was my opportunity to catch up with her, and even though I send the usual how are you? well wishing message, I never did reply with anything further. I know I've never been heartless in that sense because the whole point of me bothering with social networking is to try and find the people I grew up with and to keep in touch with them, a far cry from the friend-adding syndrome you catch people doing on the likes of myspace. But having a young child, for any parent that is full time and as doting and I try to be, I don't spend hour after hour on my PC so in that sense I have become complacent, but you know that doesnt excuse the fact I coulda asked for a phone number, or arranged to meet and "network" like a human being should. My heart goes out to her family, I really do feel for them. Such a tragic loss, and I really do empathise having knowing what my other half is going through with his dad's battle with cancer. It's not right when someone whose lived a quarter of their life loses it to a disease like cancer. it's not right for an older person to or anyone, but for someone as young as my friend you can never really imagine just how this will be effecting her family and closest friends. I wrote a message to her sister with my condolences. I am only glad that she isn't suffering anymore, and that her last moments were apparently happy ones spent talking to her loved ones. I'm glad that my memories of her, despite them being lost in time are through a child's eyes. I always loved my classmates at my primary school. I will carry those memories of all of my friends forever.

So that was the bad news of the day. Nothing great has happened other than a small harvest of fruit from my strawberry, raspberry and blackcurrent plants in my garden. They look beautiful. Thinking about it, it's been my biggest harvest so far this year which is nice. Not that it'll do anything but the harvest of something as beautiful and food from your own garden, handreared from seed is very special, and I want to associate the beauty in what I have received today in my memory of my old friend.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Pretty In Pink

Whilst I am updating a few photography listings, I thought I would quickly post a new mandala I incorporated into the shop earlier this evening.

So far I have to say it's my favourite one. Stunningly pink and strikingly beautiful. It's one my other half couldn't help but notice upon passing me on his way to the kitchen after waking up from his night shift. I'm glad he had to take a double take, it means at least it's eye catching! I designed it from a photograph of a pink flower growing in my mum's beautiful garden, and I really do think I have captured the spirit of the atmosphere there with this one, rather than just the plant itself. I love her garden, I only wish I was in a permanent property to be able to work on ours the way I want to! One day though :)

moonangelnay xxx

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day To All The Cool Dad's In The World!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeey! Finally a day where all good men in the world can have some appreciation has arrived lol! It's not a day I'm too familiar with, and I know that sounds bizarre but up until a couple of years ago I never really knew my own. I lost contact with my dad when I was 2. Long story best saved for another time! I did grow up with a step-father but to be honest it wasn't the happiest of relationships, and he knows why that is. But as a result of that I never really felt close to him, and up until my mum decided to break away from their relationship I found out a lot that made my entire childhood make a lot of sense. All in all I think I was robbed of the father presense in my life (or at least one that I had respect for), so today for me FINALLY is a day I can be excited about! ^_^ A big up to my dad, cuz he does one hell of a job looking after all my brothers and sisters in Wales (I have 6 siblings you know). He's poorly at the mo, so the appreciation I think would make him a happy man :)

One problem... My poor other half Elric was on nights last night and is fast asleep, and my dad is unreachable via the phone! lol! He lives in Cardiff (good 180 miles from here), so being able to take a stroll to the old man's house, or a 5 minute car trip is out of the question I guess. So I'm on my own until Elric wakes up... Unless Yukio wakes up first!

I had to do the whole fathers day thing on Friday because of Elrics shifts this weekend, which is a shame really as the prospect of doing it all at the same time with other families across the world is kinda special. You know day's like this are lovely (minus the commercialism which is enough to put me off), because it's one time only a few times a year where without thinking about it consciously, we are all probably thinking along the same lines, a whole lot of love is going around and we are connected via our focus and intentions. Now that to me is what these days should be about. Besides what they are designed for, millions of people around the world for once are all sharing a common value, and it's things like that that make you wonder why it's not doable all the time. But that's the human condition for ya! At least for one day we can look at our loved ones and remember who they are.

moonangelnay xxx

Friday, June 19, 2009

Frog ^_^

Well, I said I'd go to bed last night but actually... well I didn't. Lol. It was another 2am-er and I have pretty much spent today in complete zombie mode which hasn't been good for anyone, let alone myself! To be fair though I think that if I didn't begin working the way I am doing, I'd be sitting in the same position I've been complaining about for months in a weeks time thinking that something is out to steal my time away from me. When ultimately I have the choice to make time, and considering I do get little time being a mum n all, the late nights are necessary. It won't be forever. I just need to keep reminding myself of that! So yes, today... I barely remember it that's how tired I have been. I vaguely remember watering my vegetables, and the usual getting grumpy with my computer, oh and having to scold my little boy a few times because he's been hitting a lot today. Dunno why though, he had a good nap. Probably mirroring my mood! But yeah it's not a good thing that the portion before the other half's return from work is a blur. After however it has been a little more productive. Boring things like research, housework, cooking... but then the FROG appeared!
We have a tortoise called fluffy who has been missing in the garden for a few days, and whilst the other half was looking for her, he found the cutest little frog, whom Yukio befriended and was SOOOOO good and gentle with it. I was just amazed at how sweet he was holding him and gently popping him on the lawn to let him go free. He's not even 2 yet but he has this nurturing concept down to a t. Incredible little boy, he never ceases to amaze me, even when he is a bit of a grouch (i guess he's entitled to this week, head injury n all)!
enjoy the pics!

moonangelnay xxx

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A New Mandala

Well I've finally got myself together and made my computer cooperate with me doing some work, despite the fact it is now 12.48am where I'm from and I should probably catch up on the late night last night. But yes! A fresh new mandala is in my store!
This new series that I'm working on is become more and more spiritually inspired the more I gather ideas. So far I'm finding they are resembling the chakra system which is pretty cool. Particularly as I tend to frequently put emphasis on my own when I meditate and through other lines of my work. So for me it's almost like I'm connecting not only to the soul nature of the photo's i'm editing (the primary emphasis) but to my own soul nature. Which I guess would make sense as that is what art and creativity should be about! But unlike my other work, this is manifesting into a more personal area for me, as I'm not just farting around with tools as I edit making changes willy nilly, but I'm making a point of carefully choosing the changes I make and putting a lot of intent into each individual photograph. I'm just chuffed that I can treat my digital art the same way I would do a drawing or painting, as by nature I am a fine artist. Technology has corrupted my soul however lol! But I like it. It means I am flexible and open to new things and generally I like to think I'm that way, away from my art. I feel the urge to draw something. It always happens this way, and ALWAYS at inappropriate hours. ah well, bed time!

moonangelnay xxx

Birthday Hunt - I Really Dislike Shopping For Men...

Things have taken a smoother path today, although that has only meant I have been away from my computer (and not throttling it... hense the smooth part). Took Yukio to his little group debutots today which is a FAB drama group for toddlers where they get to have loadsa fun "becoming" the stories that are told to them. Although despite my own enthusiasm (and money), the fact that it's my son's highlight of the week due to the biscuit tin which is religiously plonked into the center of the hall after every session, worries me a tad lol. But I reckon he loves it really ;) I have no idea how much he ate there today confectionary wise, but I haven't had much fun changing any of his nappies that's for sure! Next week is his last session, and we may go for a picnic. I'll totally be snap happy :D
Anyway further to that I spent the rest of daylight hours at my mums doing some last minute shopping for my son's birthday party which is next weekend (the big 2... should i be scared?). It so happens his birthday is on exactly the same day as my best mates, and trust me I think the fact they are so close really does reflect in the pride they share over it! The only problem I'm having is finding a present for my friend. He isn't the fussiest of people, but I'm not your average kinda person that would go and buy a box of chocolates or bog standard watches or whatever as gifts. I'm quite awkward like that (I'm sure the other half will agree). I just HATE being normal, it doesn't require effort to buy just any old thing but it's his BIRTHDAY and they are supposed to be meaningful occassions, so I like to buy meaningful things. If I had the time I would jump on my sewing machine and whip up something totally bizarre and funky, but I lack too much of that these days. I only wish being so busy consumed as many calories! lol!!!

I also lack funds, so the things I have come across, despite how cool they are fall totally out of my budget. But I have to share what I have found cuz they are pretty nice, and who knows you guys may find something awesome for all doting fathers or other male related bipeds :)2 Robot Glasses by BreadandBadger

Circuit Board Guitar Pick by TheBlueKraken

Desert Path Pillow by PluckyPillow

Better get on with some work I reckon and look another time. Still got next week. Should be lucky hopefully!

moonangelnay xxx

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


It's been a bit of a day. A mental one although I can't say literally. Just my own making, in my own mind. After last night's ordeal with my son and the lack of help the doctors gave at our local hospital, I've been feeling pretty deflated. My other half was there for at least 4 hours, which obviously gave plenty of time for my sons open wound to heal but it meant that the doctors weren't prepared to glue the opening together FOR this exact reason. Giving that it only would have taken a minute to do that (I know after they did it the first time around), we feel pretty let down, and now my son's scar is going to be pretty big as opposed to neater and not so big. That's the NHS for you. Useless.

Anyway i've been a busy bee when I've had the time to work today. Still trying to become a nab hand at this blogging malarky and finding new ways to promote my etsy shop online. I found a brilliant source from etsy seller jessejanes, a pdf document that she has composed that gives a wonderful wealth of information to help my exact cause regarding internet promotion outside of etsy. She has a pretty incredible sales rank for just over a year so I gotta give a hand to her, she knows her stuff! So I'm getting to work on that one!

I had a go at making some more digital work today but my PC is being a bit uncooperative so that didn't exactly manifest, but I'll showcase one of my recent works anyway as I hoped to show something on my blog today. I have created a new series of digital creations that are meant to express the soul nature behind mother nature, by caputuring photographs of the natural world and re-creating their essence in the form of a mandala. Mandala literally translates as "essence" and so far I'm pretty pleased with my work.

It has inspired me to create a treasury on the subject too if you're interested in having a look at that, which I feel is worth sharing due to the beautiful work of the artists I have selected on there :) like this one by mirese. I couldn't believe that this wasn't a real baby, but seriously if you have a look I'm sure you'll be amazed at her talents as a sculptor!

All in all, what a day it has been. looking forward to a hopefully less stressful day tomorrow.

moonangelnay xxx

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Bumps and Babies

Yeah I know, blogging isn't my strongest point! to be honest I have never been so overwhelmed and i honestly wish it were down to working and earning some money! So much has gone on, to the point of me not really updating my etsy shop at all up until recently. The cusp of it all was last Saturday, after a shopping trip my lil boy decided it'd be fun to run around chasing our dog and BAM, flew straight into the corner edge of the front door. I was mortified and in a total panic, poor thin had blood POURING from his forehead, and was screaming like no one's business (can't say i blame him if i wasn't trying to be responsible I'm sure I woulda been screaming from the emotional pain I was feeling for him). I was at a
loss for what to do so I ended up calling the NHS direct a moment after grabbing what i could to stop the blood flow and blot the wound, to be told to go MILES away from what i thought was theobvious choice to get him seen to by a doctor. I suggested a hospital that i thought was nearby to them and surprise surprise it wasn't even on their list of "recommendations" (i HATE the NHS). But they found it and said that it had a childrens ward so I drove there and eventually after a few HOURS they glued his wound together. The worst part about that was the fact the ward was practically empty and at one point I think we were forgotten about, until a nearby nurse noticed us and found someone other than the doctor (whom apparently didn't know how to "glue" wounds together... A DOCTOR), to sort Yukio out. I'm glad he was ok though. I think I was more traumatised than him, after a few minutes of the initial impact I was having to juggle tissues, the phone and my sanity whilst following his frolicking self up and down the house. It was like it hadn't even happened! LOL! (ah happier times in the right hand pic).

Well currently he's back at hospital, with my other half because he's somehow managed to removed the scab that had only just become solid today, to reveal the big old hole he made in the first place. Lord knows how long they'll be. I've just discovered twitter and I can't help but tweet about it, yet I'm supposed to be updating my etsy shop and promoting around the net. Can't concentrate so I'm now on here throwing out my woes to the world. I wonder how he's getting on?...... I love him to bits, I just don't want him to have a big gaping scar on his head when he doesn't have to have it that bad, if they deal with him sooner rather than later. I'm gonna have to try and work. It's midnight now but I either stress about it or work until they get back. There's no way I can sleep!